The Detour

Here it is, 12:44 am on Christmas Eve morning. I can't sleep, which is extremely rare for this sleep-deprived, sleep-loving mama.  Christmas excitement, you ask? In a way I guess.  This Christmas season has been one of COMPLETE and udder wonder for me.  Partly I think because my sweet M boys are at an age (especially Marshal) where they are starting to understand what's going on.  Marshal loves naming baby Jesus, and Mawy.  But even more, this has been a season of great peace.  Peace that surpasses my understanding in a lot of ways. We have a lot less.  We've lost a lot this year.  But when I think of what we have - I'm in awe.

Today, er, yesterday -  my husband ended up in the ER with a spine complication (LONG STORY).  My husband.  My strong, hard-working, do anything to protect, provider, husband... was very compromised and helplessly in pain. I sat next to his ER stretcher contemplating life and death.  Call me melodramatic, but it doesn't help that he said, "If I die, make sure you remarry." Side note, for some reason that totally cracks me up.  He ended up having a relatively simple procedure, had near-immediate relief, and now is on bed-rest flat on his back for 48 hours.

I'm grateful.  Understatement.  I'll take a Christmas Eve and Christmas on our king-sized bed or couch any-day.  We are all here, and we are together.

So, back to the point.  Somehow, on this Christmas Eve 2010 - with my husband flat on his back and me sleepless - my heart is overflowing with joy.  My eyes are not moist from sorrow.  Quite the opposite.  I have so much to be thankful for.  Peace, namely.  Family.  Provision.  Redemption.  Health. Financial Peace. Reconciliation. To name a few. 

It's funny how God works.  I'm such a planner.  (Planner is a harsh word, I prefer "organized dreamer" - ha.) Sometimes, in the grand scheme of God's plan for my life, I like to take control of my dreams. You know, hang on to them REAL tight.  I like to try to force them into fruition, usually my way.  But this is what I'm learning: God wants to see my dreams realized even more than I do.  In fact - His dreams for me encompass my destiny.  But at times I have to be redirected.  A detour, so to speak.  A detour that re-aligns my plans within the more perfect plans He has for me.  (Come to think of it, Mary had a bit of a detour too - and look how marvelous that turned out.)  These detours force me to once again place my trust, dependence, and yes even control - back into His hands.  I guess that's what He means when He says He knows the plans He has for me, and works all things for my good.

Moral of the story? Today? This year?
Even when things seem most hopeless.
Even when situations seem un-redeemable.
Even when dreams seem deflated or dashed.
Nothing is impossible with Him.

I'm telling you - I've seen it with my own eyes.
My heart has been healed by this very message.
Things may not happen my way.
I'm okay with that.
Because as I sit here in the quiet of my little home,
I can see from the depths of my soul - there is peace.

What a beautiful message on Christmas Eve.
Peace.
Thank you Jesus.





PICTURES:

We started a new tradition for advent.  We write on a paper ornament what each member of the family is thankful for, each day of December through Christmas.  Marshal's answers surround Mama and Dada most days.  Since Mason doesn't talk yet we embellish his a bit.  After all is said and done, the rope gets stored away for next year to decorate the tree with.

This year's Christmas tree makes me giggle.  It is a little Charlie Brown tree that was given to us our first year of marriage.  We love that ugly little tree.  It reminds us of humble beginnings.  And humble detours.  It sits on our kitchen island, which in this picture is also housing the diaper bag, and a grocery sack of peed-on-little-boy-underwear. There's real life for ya.  If you look closely, the reindeer craft on the left is missing an eye.  I imagine it will pass in Mason's diaper any day now.

"Small house, great peace" - self explanatory.

I love you. Merry Christmas.