Ten Things I've Learned From My Daddy (aka Dad, Pop, Papa)
In Honor of Father's Day - 2010
(Of course, in NO particular order)
To preface - you'd have to know my Dad. If I could describe him in one word it would be consistent. Or maybe good. I think we don't always give "good" the credit it deserves; in fact if you use it in a college essay you'll be redirected to the thesaurus. But I like it. And it is just the word for my dad. He's one consistently good man. He's always been a good Dad, and now it's so fun to see him be a good Papa to my babies. I heard a quote once that said: "Greatness is simply consistent goodness." Whatever the term, I know my Pop has influenced my life in many more than 10 ways... nevertheless - here is a short list, and some memories that confirm the greatness of my Daddy. I can't say this list has ever been verbalized to me in the form of "instruction" - but rather they are things I have gleaned from his consistent life of Fatherly influence. He's taught me by his example. Love you Dad. Happy Father's Day.
1.)
Being on time is being early - No, really. When we get a visit from Dad, 1000 actually means 0945.
2.)
Believe in your dreams - Throughout my entire life, childhood through adulthood, my Dad has believed in my dreams. And I've had a lot of dreams. As a child I wanted to be EVERYTHING. I wanted to be a zoologist, and Dad bought me books. I wanted to be a professional singer (Country BTW), and Dad wrote me a song. I wanted to play basketball, so Dad took me to Lady Footlocker and we picked out shoes (high-tops, of course, to protect my ankles.) I wanted to get married young, and Dad bought my dress. (Incidentally, right before he walked me down the isle he also said, "You know, it's still not too late to change your mind. Not saying you should, just want you to know it's okay if you do.") When I wanted to be a nurse he loaned me money for a computer. When I was excited to buy properties for investment, he was excited to see. When the market changed and our gain became loss, he said it was okay - that it would all work out in the end. When I wanted to be a Nurse Practitioner, he cosigned my student loan. Have I always made good decisions? No. Did Dad probably know better? Yes. Did he tell me? No. He just loved me. And believed in my dreams.
3.)
You can never have too much toilet paper - My Pop used to have a great big pantry that was underneath his two-story home's stairwell. This pantry was FILLED WITH TOILET PAPER. Like, walls of it! Okay, maybe not ONLY toilet paper, but more toilet paper than I've seen in any home. Ever. Logical, I guess. Everyone needs it, right? I remember asking myself, "How does one get such a stock of toilet paper?" I guess I still have that to learn.
4.)
Don't make big deals out of things that aren't - I don't remember ever seeing my Dad angry. Don't get me wrong, he's not a push-over. But he is just. There are things worth making a fuss over. But most things aren't. Roll with the punches and don't let things ruffle your feathers. (Sorry for the compound metaphors, but it makes my point, lol).
5.)
It's okay to make mistakes, just learn from them - When my Pop was a teenager he was in a car-accident after he'd been drinking. He busted up his car; he busted up his face. In fact, he busted his jaw to pieces on the steering-wheel. He saved this steering-wheel for me (it's the old solid metal kind - with a great big crack in it), and gave it to me when I turned 16. Mistakes are inevitable. But they're only worthless if you don't learn from them. I've never been drunk. I'm 28 and sober by choice. I guess along the way he taught me to learn from others' mistakes too.
6.)
Work hard - My dad has worked hard his entire life. He works hard and accomplishes much. He's organized. He manages his time well. He has a very nifty and detailed planner. And he's never missed an important date in MY life.
7.)
Learn something new every day - I lived with my Mom growing up. I visited Dad. And I talked with him a lot on the phone. I think at some point in each conversation Pop would ask me, "What did you learn today?" I remember as a small girl consciously learning some new tidbit so that I could make sure to provide a legitimate and truthful answer.
8.)
Family is important - My Dad loved his Mom and Dad. He loves his wife (hi Holls). He loves me and my husband. He adores his grandsons. He talks with his sister every Sunday at 1600 (or somewhere in there, I could probably check his planner). He takes special trips out of town to help his elderly Aunt. His love for his family goes far beyond saying, "I love you." He demonstrates his love by meeting our needs. His love is practical. And that's the best kind.
9.)
Communicate - Now this is the one thing he has VERBALLY instructed me. At the end of each phone-call, or as we depart our separate ways from a visit, my Dad stresses the instruction "communicate" or "call me sometime next week" or something of the like. It's important to stay in touch. It's important to know what's going on in each other's lives. It's important to breed healthy relationships.
10.)
Be generous; no strings attached - From where I sit on my couch, I can count 19 items my dad has built for my home. (That's not including the actual electrical wiring he ran when we were building it!) Did I mention he's quite the carpenter? Okay that was a HUGE understatement... He gives generously of his time, money, and resources. When I was in my graduate school residency he drove over two hours (round-trip) every week to come watch my son. Now, every week Marshy gets a Papa day and they have all kinds of adventures. Dad gives nice big presents. (I love presents.) And he never tells you how you should spend his gift. He never expects favors or payback in return for his generosity.
So that's a small synopsis of what I've learned from my great Dad. You're a hero to me; and already a super-hero to my little boys. Thanks for teaching me these life lessons. I hope I make you proud. You are one good man. I love you.
JJ
Oh, one more lesson... HOW COULD I FORGET????
11.)
Don't play in the street. I was two(ish) years old, with knobby knees. Dad took me out into the street... and showed me a flat-as-a-pancake squirrel. He squatted down next to me, looked into my (I'm sure WIDE) brown eyes and said. "This is what happens if you play in the street." Needless to say I've never played in the street. And I always brake for squirrels.
