The Guilt of It All

I feel guilty a lot. 


Some recents:
My kids eat McDonalds, even Taco Bell. 
Today I let Mason eat a bagel off the hotel carpet. 
I shouldn't be so rushed all the time. 
I should let them just be boys. 
Do I let them watch too much TV? 
(Even as I'm typing this I want to justify my actions to you...
including that it was a very clean hotel.) 
I don't buy organic.
I only recycle because it means I can empty my trash less. 
I shop at Wal-Mart. 
I don't like to cook. 
My house isn't nearly as clean as hers. 
I work part-time, which means I'm not a "real" SAHM. 
Do I read enough to them?
I'm not really crafty.
Is ministry taking too much time away from family?
Is family keeping me from ministry?
My minivan has goldfish and cheerios on the floor.
And that's just the beginning of the MOTHERING guilt...


Then add all the OTHER guilt that gets heaped on as a bonus:
I'm too inpatient with my husband.
I take my husband for grantid.
I haven't worked out since 2007.
Do I have a hobby?
I lose my keys every-other day.
I should be more organized.
I don't ever iron.
My husband folds most of the laundry.
I pay to have my house cleaned once a month.
My back yard has lots of weeds.


I have so much student loan debt (also since 2007...)
We've foreclosed a home.
Short-sold a home.
Foreclosed on our dream lot.
Had a truck re-possessed.


It's a lot of work feeling this guilty all the time.  I remember my SIL Amy encouraging me once as I (literally) cried to her on the phone.  She said, "Jessie, you need to cut yourself some slack."  That was good advice.
And while I try, I also try to remember this:

• There is no condemnation for me, because I am in Christ. (Rom 8:1)
• Guilt is banished through love and truth. (Pr 16:6)
• God's mercy for my is new every morning. (Lam 3:23)
• If I'm content to simply be myself, my life will count for plenty. (Mt 23:12)
• Body and soul, I am marvelously made. (Ps 139)
• I am God's masterpiece, He has made me new in Christ Jesus, so I can do the things He planned for me long ago. (Eph 2:10)
• Everything God created is good and to be received with thanks. (1 Tim 4:4)
• I'm the clay, God is the potter.  I am what He made me to be.  (Is 64:8)

I also have found out that a lot of my guilt is based on what I presume are other people's opinions of me. 
So I also try to remember this:

• If my goal was popularity, I wouldn't bother being Christ's slave. (Gal 1:10)
• Don't be selfish, don't try to impress others. (Phil 2:3)
• God pays no attention to what others say (or what I think) about me.  (Rom 2:11)
• It is better for me to take refuge in God, than to trust in people.  (Ps 118:8)

Maybe guilt just comes with the Mama territory.
But I'm still going to fight it.
So today. 
Love. 
Serve. 
Have joy. 
Be thankful. 
That's enough, and good enough for me.


Inspired by this post.